Tantric Sexuality Lessons
Non-Ejaculatory Orgasm - Mare Simone (with comments by Leandra); Diane Richardson
"Can a Man Really Have Multiple Orgasms Without Ejaculating? I get asked this question a lot. For the record, the answer is Ohhhh Yes!!! From the Tantric perspective, orgasm is not a goal or completion of sex, but rather an aroused physical and emotional state that literally can be experienced throughout one's entire being. The longer one lingers in this aroused state of excitement, the more energy and life force they can absorb and radiate. A man may have multiple orgasms without ejaculating and yet actually feel energized in the afterglow. As a woman, I can only tell you that it's extraordinarily satisfying to be with a man who can continue to ride wave upon wave of pleasure with me. It creates a deeper and profound feeling of union.
The techniques that assist one in developing these skills can be learned and mastered with practice. Physiologically, it is possible for a man to have an orgasm without ejaculating. Sadly, it is also possible for a man to ejaculate without much physical pleasure at all! Orgasm and ejaculation are functions that are activated by separate parts of the nervous system. Although they often do occur simultaneously, each of these functions can be experienced independent of one another. To a man this means prolonged and multiple orgasms are possible without an ejaculation.
During ejaculation, sleep hormones are produced and released in the brain. An immense amount of proteins, vitamins, minerals and amino acids as well as vital energies are lost in the ejaculate. Although Taoists masters such as Mantak Chia, author of the best selling book, "The Multi-Orgasmic Man" may disagree, I believe that this depletion factor does not mean that a man should never ejaculate except to procreate; but rather to do so with consciousness and wisdom. When a man ejaculates, if he plants his seed along with an intentional thought or vision, it becomes a conscious conception; whether it's for a baby or an empowering state that one can conjure and imprint, it is infused with the creative life force."
Note from Leandra: While learning the non-ejaculatory orgasm is extremely beneficial to men, it is, for health reasons, important to ejaculate regularly, approximately every two weeks. This is in order to empty the prostrate gland in order to avoid the development of cancer or other prostrate difficulties. If ejaculation does not take place for a longer period, it can actually become an unpleasant, painful experience as the ejaculate thickens. Another important aspect is that, men over 50 should greatly reduce if not avoid non-ejaculatory orgasms because of the strain this puts on the vessels from the prostrate gland. Once this technique has been mastered however, it is possible to experience the full-body and expanded orgasms even after ejaculating. This requires a particular breathing technique, whereby the energy is held back, moved upwards in the body and let out at will a number of times. So the over 50 year old does not have to miss out on this wonderful experience
"A non-ejaculatory type of orgasm for a man can occur repeatedly without him feeling exhaustion. Once a man comes and "spills his seed" he's usually spent; especially if he is past the age of 35 when his hormone production begins to slow down. Tantric practices offer a man the ability to maintain a level of heightened arousal with numerous peaks and multiple dimensions of exhilarating pleasure. Many men find this to be more satisfying. The key is to be able to be excited and relaxed at the same time. On the "pleasure scale" of one to ten, a man must learn to maintain a level seven (which is heaven) for as long as he desires. Breathing and movement exercises can assist one in opening up to feeling fabulously aroused while calm and centered at the same time. Orgasm is deep like the ocean. We can learn to ride the waves and experience great pleasure and the immense benefits that it brings.
Depending on a man's health, his age and other conditions, frequent ejaculation can be depleting. With Tantric methods he can learn to actually re-absorb his vital essences and become empowered by them. When a man doesn't ejaculate during orgasm, he is able to effectively move the energy and fill his body with a highly charged and oxygenated life force. Through the simple techniques that tantra teaches, a man can reach an orgasmic state that satisfies on a deep and peaceful level. In fact, men who don't release after sustaining high levels of pleasure often feel energized and rejuvenated afterwards. This expanded state can last for days and can lead to a more refined sensitivity towards pleasure. This profound experience can be enjoyed solo, or with a partner. With proper guidance and practice, men often find a Tantric orgasm more pleasurable and satisfying than an orgasm with release."
Note from Leandra: Experiencing high arousal for a longer period which does not end in orgasm can have the same effect of energising the man and also the woman. The actual orgasm then becomes an elongated orgasmic state in which you enjoy arousal longer. It is not necessary to always orgasm to feel wonderful after arousal! Orgasm is not the aim of tantric sex!
"When a man experiences multiple orgasms, it wakens him to feel a very similar experience to a woman's sensations. Men have often reported to me feelings of pleasure that rise to their heart with a lightness and glowing warmth that radiates throughout their body. Men who are multi-orgasmic have the potential to become more emotionally intimate and able to join with a woman in conscious sexual bliss. When a man discovers his ability to relax into pleasure, it takes him to a new level that can only be understood through direct experience. Relaxing into pleasure is a gateway that can open him up to realizing his full spectrum of orgasmic states."
Note from Leandra: The method to learn this technique can be learnt in my Tantra Sacred Massage sessions. I teach every client the basics in order to relax during arousal and throughout orgasm - that is the first step to learning full-body, multi-orgasms. After mastering that, there are some muscular exercises which need to be practiced - and then it is simply a matter of practicing during self-loving rituals. The same technique applies to women. When a woman relaxes into orgasm, she easily achieves full-body and expanded orgasms. This "relaxing into orgasmâ€, also enhances the spiritual experience or orgasm. In allowing the sexual energy to flow freely and fully through the body, one actually lifts this energy from a very basic existential level in the base chakra up through the chakras towards the heart chakra and ultimately up and out the head chakra. In so doing, the energy transforms into a fuller, more loving and uplifting emotion or feeling as well as being more pleasant and blissful physically.
Quote from an Article by Mare Simone, featured in "Ancient Secrets of Sexual Ecstasy":
More On Non-Ejaculatory Orgasm For Men...
"Tantra is interested in non-ejaculation which is not to be confused with ejaculation control. Non-ejaculation means that the question of ejaculation never enters the picture. It is not even an issue because you are relaxing into it. This enables lovemaking to be a prolonged and satisfying exchange. On the other hand to control your ejaculation means that a strong urge to ejaculate is present and needs repressing. It then becomes an act of sheer will where the sex energy is first built up to a peak and then mental control is exerted to retract from ejaculation."
From The Heart of Tantric Sex - Diane Richardson